They say you never really gain a full appreciation for your parents until you become a parent yourself. I still have about 2 weeks left of anticipation of becoming a parent, but I already think about the future and how my heart and mind feel so different about life.
Today is my mother’s birthday, and with every year that passes by, I feel more and more that I will never be able to repay her for everything she has done for me. I’m not sure why it took so long to really hit me. Was it marriage? Was it co-owning and running a home? Was it a collaboration of all of the big “grown up” changes that have happened in my life?
Yeah, probably that.
Then there’s the moments where my baby kicks and squirms, and I start to imagine his face. I imagine his hand grabbing my finger, his smirk as he falls asleep, his crying when he’s hungry. My heart pours into these thoughts, and I just start to imagine my mother when she was carrying me. I remember when she told me a few years ago that when she first met me, I was exactly what she dreamed I would look like. My heart melted. It melts 10 times over just thinking of that memory now because, well, I’ll be meeting my own little one soon. Somehow, with those words, my mom showed me what it was like to truly love. It may not make complete sense, but I now know what she was sharing with me.
She taught me everything about being the right kind of mother. The sacrifices, the laughs, the tears; she cooked, she cleaned, she provided. With the help of my dad, they always made ends meet while spoiling my siblings and I with things we probably didn’t deserve. I’m so grateful. She has so much strength and wisdom despite all of the hardships she has gone through (she lost her own mother at the age of 7 and was the oldest of her siblings to come to the U.S. as a refugee). Then again, it could be the hardships that taught her how to be strong and wise.
Mom, if I can anywhere near the supermom you were to me, I would consider myself successful. Thank you for loving me and teaching me how to be a decent human being while embracing every breath of life. I love you so much.