Motherhood, Wellness

Don’t Forget Yourself in Motherhood

“In order to remember who you are, you have to have known it in the first place.” – Gregory Maguire

Cooking. Cleaning. Playing. Cooking. Cleaning. Playing. Sleep (okay, sorta sleep). Repeat.

Sometimes, for long periods of time, that’s what it feels like.  I’m 2.5 years into this mom gig, and somewhere in the midst of working and maintaining a healthy family, I have started to realize that there is a slow and steady disappearance of my sense of self from my motherhood self.

I’ve been thinking about this blog, reflecting to try to understand my bigger purpose with it, and in the midst of my reflection, I realized that I had lost a lot of things that were very definitive of, well, me.  When in the middle of cleaning the house and bathing my child did I lose my passions?


Don’t get me wrong.  Motherhood has been the greatest joy to me, but there’s a point where I have to realize and remember that it’s not all of me.  With all of the happenings of the day-to-day, it’s terribly easy to lose track of time for myself.  That’s something I want every mom or even mom-to-be to realize.  Maintaining your sense of self outside of motherhood takes conscious effort, and it’s okay if sometimes you forget.  It’s okay to step a few steps back and reflect.  It’s okay to start making time for the things you forgot you loved.  Because you know what?  Those things will in turn make you a better mom.  The best way to teach your children about goals and passions, I believe, is to achieve them yourself.

I challenge you – jot down your passions now so you can have them to look back on and remind yourself.  Set some goals.  Grow personally as you grow with parenthood.  You’ll find it a prize to look back on, as I’m sure I will with my list.  These are small, but as the saying goes, “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”



I didn’t do this for long, but when I did, it was really was a high for me and something I started to itch to do every morning.  Get this – I’m not even a morning person.  I trained for a half marathon and although I wasn’t the fastest, I was so proud of myself for finishing.  I went from barely even making it through a mile to finishing 5 miles some mornings then eventually completing 13.1 miles.  That runner’s high is real.
Goal: Try to walk or run around the block after work at least once a week if time and weather allows.  Complete a 5K.



I still hike from time to time, but it’s so rare now.  It was easier when Dominic was tinier, but I miss just doing some tougher hikes and enjoying the peace of being outside.  There’s also something about climbing those steep hills and getting to the top just makes you feel a little more alive.
Goal: Find 3 easy, kid-friendly hikes.  Meet up with a girlfriend for a hike.


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When I blend pencil on paper, everything gets so peaceful.  My introvert self thrives on that feeling of creating, and can you believe this drawing is the last pencil drawing I did? It’s back in 2013.  One drawing done well would take me about week to finish, but once it was done it was so satisfying.
Goal: Make a newborn photo of Dominic come to life in pencil and frame it.


After college, I started getting more active with volunteering again when I joined the community committee at work, but once work got so busy, I lost touch.  There’s not a lot of things that will make me feel fulfilled and so wonderfully human than volunteering.  Are we not here to help each other out?  It’s so easy to get so busy and so consumed in our day-to-day lives that we forget that.
Goal: Volunteer or at least donate to a worthy organization once a month.

And last but not least…


Funny that I mention writing, huh?  I miss writing with more heart and with more purpose.  I feel like most blogs I run into are mostly product ads, and – although I’ve done a few – I never want it to be the bulk of this space.  I’ve realized that it deters me from the deeper therapy I get from writing and from the greater interest my readers get from reading.  I am by no means a great writer, but I find joy in writing regardless, and I want anyone who decides to read to find some sense of joy in it too.
Goal: Write more pieces from the heart.

My goals are what I’m setting up for myself to try to achieve for the balance of the year.  There aren’t many months left, but starting with small goals can only help me progress to bigger ones.

Here’s to a little more self care and to reminding ourselves to take time to reflect and tend to our souls.
Our children deserve the best versions of ourselves.
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  • Reply Julie Anne

    Thanks for sharing this girl! This is a great reminder for me. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I appreciated this ☺️

    August 10, 2017 at 8:31 am
    • Reply Vy

      That makes me so happy, Julie Anne! I constantly need to remind myself too – we are worth a little extra care too 🙂

      August 13, 2017 at 10:36 pm

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