For the Moms Who Exclusively Pump: Bonding with a Bottle is Possible

I’m venting.

What is it about mommy wars?  Why are moms so eager to prove that they’re a better mother than others?  Are we not all making life decisions for our child?  Are most of us not trying our best?  Is this whole thing not stressful enough?  Why can’t we all just support each other?

I exclusively pump milk for my child.  Sorry if that is TMI, but I am proud that I am able to discipline myself enough to offer a natural source of nutrition for my child despite the fact that it’s not the “normal” way.  He wouldn’t latch.  He wouldn’t.  I saw a lactation consultant multiple times, and he wouldn’t latch.  I, however, produced a good supply, so I didn’t want that to go to waste.  I decided I would exclusively pump.

Each time it’s time to eat, I cuddle with my baby as I feed him his bottle.  I made the conscience decision to put my phone away, and I would make the feeding time a sweet and quality time for us.  Some nights he snuggles his face close to me, and some nights he holds my hand that’s holding the bottle.  We’re bonding.  I made the conscious decision to make sure that despite not directly breastfeeding, the feeding times would still be a bonding time.

There have been moms giving me questioning looks, moms commenting that I HAVE to give milk straight from me to get the bonding benefit, and moms saying their relationship to their child is different from my relationship to my child because they feed directly from the them.

Ouch.  That hurts.

Sometimes I see these moms just watch TV as their feed their babies, and some on their phones checking Instagram the whole time.  I shouldn’t judge, but give me a break.

Why would other moms be so hurtful?  Do they even know?  I’m doing my best.  You’re doing your best.  Don’t you dare say a bottle feeding mom cannot create a strong bond with their baby the way a breastfeeding mom can.  At the end of the day, it depends on the mom and her efforts.  Her heart and her desire to bond with her child surpasses the baby suckling from her bosom or from a bottle.

I just had to get that out. I love my son, and my attachment to him or his attachment to me is not up for comparison — especially based on his method of feeding.


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